The Barrie Concert Association presents “Troubled Times, Indomitable Spirits”, with Barrie’s own Duo Kashperova (pianist Sandra Ruttan and cellist Alyssa Wright), on Sunday, April 26 at 2:30pm.  The concert takes place at Bethel Community Church, 128 St…

Hi everyone,

Yes, I know I had promised a follow-up to the “Karma is a Horny Coyote” post – I'd planned for it to be pretty epic, tying in the micro-aggressions with the macro-aggressions taking place on the…

Last week, after posting “Karma is a Horny Coyote” on my Facebook page – about the neighbour who was accusing me for months about letting my dog bark to wake him up on a regular basis, and becoming downright abusive when I was able to provide video evidence that it was not my dog that woke him up – another neighbour responded with “My interactions with this neighbour have only been positive and pleasant," and then left the conversation.

And oo-eee, Little Lyssy's nervous system had a wee panic session over that one, because it felt soooooo familiar.  While the neighbour-blaming-me-and-my-dog-for-coyote-calls situation is, of course, vastly different from what Little Lyssy was growing up with, the impact of “he's never been like that with me” comments on those who speak up about bullying or abusive behaviour is especially painful and triggering – and part of what keeps so many people silent about all types of abusive behaviour, which in turn allows it to continue.

And folks, our world is currently chock full o' abusive behaviour, and power-over folks going full DARVO on those calling it out (when they aren't murdering them).  Can we maybe take a few breaths and be a little bit more careful about how we respond to people calling out any sort of abuse, bullying or harassment?  Because… butterflies and windstorms…

The following is the response I made to this neighbour within my Facebook thread, but I was told it was universal enough it should become its own post.  So I'm going to hold up on the follow-up post I had planned (because long-term readers will know that laughter is usually followed by a truth-bomb), and share this first:
 

Friends, for months I have been walking on eggshells, a little stressbucket whenever letting the dogs out after dark. Because I kept getting nasty emails (couched in passive-aggressive smileys, so he didn't look like an asshole) from my neighbour across the way, ordering me to "do something" about Laila, who was "constantly" waking him up in the middle of the night, "at all hours" and she's "very loud".

Keep in mind that his bedroom is at the back of his house, and there's quite a bit of space and trees and a road and a hill (and, this time of year, sound-muffling snowbanks) in between my back yard and his back window. However, there are some strange acoustical properties to my neighbourhood, with quite a steep ridge that serves as a bit of an echo chamber, so I was mortified that "my" dog was upsetting a neighbour so often. But I was having trouble understanding how a dog barking in my back yard could be loud enough to wake a man across the street, when I wasn't hearing her bark at all.

ONE MORE SLEEP until Ride for Refuge!

I’m walking in support of the Cedar Centre, which helps children, youth, and adults recover from the impact that interpersonal childhood trauma has had on their lives.  See my previous post for my…

It's now FIVE days away from Ride for Refuge, in support of the Cedar Centre, which helps children, youth, and adults recover from the impact that interpersonal childhood trauma has had on their lives.  See my previous post for…

Every good fundraising request starts with a good story - here is mine!

Dear Friend,

This fall, I'm taking part in the Ride for Refuge. raising money for a charity that's close to my heart, the Cedar Centre…

This started as a BlueSky rant, then grew to a Facebook rant, and now – as I get more and more irate with the idiocy of certain... well... USian idiots (plus a few Canadians who seem to have drunk from the same KoolAid – yet another U.S. product that is really, really bad for the human race) – I'm migrating it over to RantCentral (with a few new additions), so people can read it without supporting the Zuckerface.

It is also going to be NSFW, so buckle up.  And if any USian fucking makes a quip about how Canadians are supposed to be polite (as one did on the aforementioned BlueSky rant), I will make a Canada Goose look like a pleasant dinner companion – today is not the day to dance around the Karpman Triangle with me, because I ain't dancing.

(USian friends of mine, I know this does not describe you, I know how hard you've been working in real life – your strength and integrity is exactly why we became friends in the first place.  This rant is for the non-friends I see posting.  You are loved.  And welcome to a guest room any time.  The degree of safety of said guest room depends on whether or not your country is invading ours that day, so please do your best with that, okay?)

Yes, that is an actual text I sent to my neighbourfriend earlier this evening.  And may I be the first – and hopefully, only – to wish the same to all of you!  I hope you're ringing in the new year in the way you most want, and that 2025 is much kinder to us all than its predecessor.

***ALL the trigger warnings on this one, people.  ALLLLLLLL the trigger warnings!!!!!***

(seriously, I'm pressing “send” in the fetal position, and I've had several days to edit and process – take extra care of your own nervous system here)

Ah, another trip around the sun (plus a few days – needed to take a while with this one), and here we are at the not-so-annual Birthday Breakdown, as started way back in 2011 (which seems so far away, on so many levels).  A recap of the year, what I learned, and what I hope to learn in the coming year.

So grab a snack and tasty beverage and make sure you've got a comfy seat (and maybe a support team in place), because this year's a doozie, friends.  Filled with grief – for those who've departed, for those I've clung to, for the last (I think?) of my magical thinking, for the sacrifices I made on behalf of that magical thinking, for the happily ever after fantasies that were part of that magical thinking – and Fucking Learning Opportunity™ after Fucking Learning Opportunity™.  (Though I believe I was fully paying attention this time – tune in next year...)