Dear humans,

I had a really great day yesterday.  Good food, lots of treats, a nice walk and visiting with some of my peeps.  But Mom has a song about how life is a pendulum, and... well... today isn't so good.  (She said she knew that would happen, but was trying not to catastrophize.  But it happened anyhow.)

I got more bloated before bedtime, and not so comfortable any more.  I was still jumping on the couch, but was having trouble getting my back legs up (nevertheless, I persisted).

Though I was still happy to take my treats!

I had to go out to eat snow and pee (in that order, each time) at 3am and 5am, and each time, I took my door treat and my back-to-bed treat (Mom accused me of making it up so I could get more treats.  I shall neither confirm nor deny).  At 7am I had to go out again, but didn't want my door treat when I came in – Mom gave me a Banana Kablama and I said no way, so she swapped with a Fruitables pumpkin & Banana, and I took that.  She was going to try not giving me my back-to-bed treat, but I told her she'd better hand it over!  Up again at 8:30, no door treats, but hand over the bedtime treat.

I let Mom have a few more hours sleep before wanting out again.  But I didn't want the Banana Kablama OR the Fruitable coming back in.  Mom made a squishy face.

She fed the cats and I was happy to help Jasper lick their spoon.  But I only took one lick of the dog food spoon before letting him at it, and it was a hard no to the pumpkin spoon.  Mom poured the kibble out of my bowl into a container and tried to sneak my pills in with just a little pumpkin, but I'm not stupid, I said no way.

So... Mom was trying really hard to think positive yesterday, and that maybe my liver might still be able to regenerate with time and medicine, but today she's a bit of a mess again.

I'm still going outside with my brother and patrolling the yard, but not sure if I'll have the energy for another walk today.  I looked longingly at the couch, but am not even gonna try.  And I suspect Mom is going to keep bugging me to make sure I'm breathing properly all day.  She's already told me my fur feels dehydrated again.  I'd tell you to send wine, but she says she can't drink it, because she might need to drive me to see the nice people I saw last Sunday night.  Maybe send facial tissue instead?

So... we're all having a snow day.  Even though it's not snowing.

My fwappity fwappity tail is still fwapping, and I'm not complaining about anything, I just don't feel so good today.  Tell Mom to stop catastrophizing.

Love and schlurps,
Macie

2:50pm edit (from the human)

One Fruitable has been consumed. No dice on the pumpkin-with-medicine.

3:30pm edit (also human)

She made it upstairs and demanded to go on the balcony (her favourite place when I’m working – which of course I have no concentration for today). Ate snow, barked at squirrels, peed. (Note to self: clean barbecue below 🤦‍♀️)

3:50pm edit

She demanded a door treat when she came in from the balcony – NOT our normal routine, but screw it, she got a fucking Banana Kablama. Tried to put her bowl down again for her, but she’d have nothing to do with it. So I took a spoon of the pumpkin (with hidden meds), and SHE ATE THE PUMPKIN OFF THE SPOON, and got ALL her morning meds into her. I figured I’d press my luck, and put a handful of her kibble in the bowl for her, and put it on her mat – nope, not having any of it. BUT, if I held the bowl for her, she’d eat the damned kibble. So I managed to get about half of her breakfast into her, by stooping over and adding a small handful (because I have small hands) at a time. My old lady back is not happy, but my old lady heart is feeling better.

9pm edit

Back to no treats. But still alert and doesn't seem to be in pain, so I'm hoping it's just that we overdid things a bit yesterday. Will get the blood test results tomorrow, so will have more answers – i.e., whether the treatment is doing her any good. Today I am stuck in the limbo between hoping we can turn this thing around, and hoping I'm not prolonging her misery with my hope that we can turn this thing around. Hope is a tricky beast.

Oh, and my mother decided to make her appearance in my inbox today. (!!!) In the words of my erstwhile therapist "well, of course she did!" Ignoring – I don't have enough llamas for that drama. She has a certain talent for kicking me when I'm down…

I'm drowning my sorrows in alcohol-free beer (finding that Sober Carpenter beer is actually pretty tasty, and doesn't have that icky aftertaste I've found in some alcohol-free selections), and still trying to will myself to eat lunch. Yes, it's 9pm. But my appetite doesn't do well under stress, either. So Macie and I are sharing a hunger strike today.  🙃

11pm edit

She ate a fair chunk of dinner, all her evening meds. Went outside to eat snow, then came back in and had some water. Proceeded to clean Jasper's ear, and later try to hump him (she failed on that, not enough strength in her back legs). So... laughter and hope.

Now she's lying on her side and trembling a bit as she breathes, so I'm guessing too much pressure on her innards again. But she's not complaining.

She's managed to eat more today than I have... oops.

Feeling so badly for my girl, but lots of cuddles on the floor.