Friends, for months I have been walking on eggshells, a little stressbucket whenever letting the dogs out after dark. Because I kept getting nasty emails (couched in passive-aggressive smileys, so he didn't look like an asshole) from my neighbour across the way, ordering me to "do something" about Laila, who was "constantly" waking him up in the middle of the night, "at all hours" and she's "very loud".

Keep in mind that his bedroom is at the back of his house, and there's quite a bit of space and trees and a road and a hill (and, this time of year, sound-muffling snowbanks) in between my back yard and his back window. However, there are some strange acoustical properties to my neighbourhood, with quite a steep ridge that serves as a bit of an echo chamber, so I was mortified that "my" dog was upsetting a neighbour so often. But I was having trouble understanding how a dog barking in my back yard could be loud enough to wake a man across the street, when I wasn't hearing her bark at all.

Nevertheless, I tried to be a good neighbour. When the weather was nice, I'd go out with the dogs at night, so I could catch them quickly if they started barking. When it was nastier out, I hooked up my security cameras to alert my phone at the slightest noise (the batteries have been wearing out quickly whenever it's been windy). And yet, despite all my precautions, he was still getting miffed about "my" dog waking him up "all the time".

He did, in October, allow that it had gotten better over the summer, but was now bad again. This made no sense to me, because Laila's barking had actually been worse over the summer, what with everyone enjoying their back yards, plus late-night walks up and down the street. This made me start to think maybe it was another dog that was waking him up, but... of course... nope, it was "definitely" Laila. I was wracking my brain what to try next…

So, last Monday, I woke up to yet another nasty email, ordering me to control my dog (complete with smiley faces, so he didn't look like an asshole – which failed, of course). And he described how he was wakened at precisely 11:45pm by Laila's barking, and what an inconsiderate dog owner I was to allow her to bark for well over 15 minutes at that hour of the night and destroy his sleep.

Well, friends... remember that security camera trick I mentioned? My back door security camera footage showed me not letting the dogs out until 11:58pm – at which point, there was another dog you could hear barking in the distance. And despite that dog barking, the footage also showed that Laila just went to the back corner to pee while Jasper stood quietly by, and then they both quietly came in, without a single bark of their own.

I of course sent this footage to said neighbour, believing it was solid enough evidence to stop him blaming Laila. NOPE!!! Despite the video evidence that it was, in fact, not Laila barking when he was awakened, he DOUBLED DOWN on the accusations, because he's "never" heard another dog in the neighbourhood bark, EVER (friends, this neighbourhood is filled with barking dogs – you can hear the chorus whenever someone walks up the street), and he also "knew" he's most definitely NEVER heard a bark like Laila's from any other dog in his entire life, so it could only have been her (I mistake other neighbourhood dogs for her all the time, and vice versa - her bark isn't particularly distinctive).

Well, friends, I admit it took me a few days to put two and two together, but with the help of some other neighbours, finally realized that the bark he's never heard from another dog in his life is because it's the bark OF A FREAKING COYOTE. And instead of his multiple assertions that Laila's barking in my back yard – at a volume that I couldn't discern, neither could the four security cameras surrounding my house – somehow miraculously travelled over my hill and through my trees and house to the front, crossed the street, made it through his trees, back down the hill and into his back bedroom window, and suddenly became loud enough to wake the dead... well, Occam's razor rules – it's actually been a coyote barking in the ravine behind his house, just under his bedroom window.

And yes, I am vindicated, and have been able to enjoy a whole bunch of righteous indignation, as well as the ability to never take any of his accusations seriously again (and he knows it, oh yes, he knows it), but... IT GETS BETTER!!!!!

Friends, January is the beginning of COYOTE MATING SEASON – during which, the young female regularly engages in "estrus calls" to woo all the males to her yard. 😍  AND... because coyotes mate for life, she likes to take her time and be kinda picky (good for her). So these estrus calls will be continuing UNTIL THE END OF MARCH. (Only a tiny bit of research, and I see that the only months where coyote sightings or hearings are less likely is July through September, which explains why I had some reprieve from his complaints at that time.)

So now every time this dinglefart hears that horny coyote sing her song of seduction, he's not going to have anyone to yell at (if he keeps trying, I'm blocking his freaking arse). AND he's (hopefully) going to be reminded what an arrogant moron he was/is, and how horridly he behaved to me with every coyote call. And I will laugh and smile and encourage that horny young coyote to take her time and make her decision carefully – because woe betide she end up with a bully who can never admit he made a mistake.

Do us proud, little coyote. You go girl!!! ❤️❤️  AWOOOOOO!!!!