Thank you to Billboard Canada for sharing so many of our memories of Time Harrison, and this beautiful tribute to him:  https://ca.billboard.com/fyi/obituaries-tim-harrison-william-orbit

Still so hard to believe he's no longer walking among us.  But I bet he's singing hard with…

🎶  But all of the goodbyes we say in our lives  🎶
🎶  Fall like silence on a dark midnight street  🎶
🎶  Where in quiet longing the angels are calling  🎶
🎶  The ones who are left to their…

Hi everyone,

Yes, I know I had promised a follow-up to the “Karma is a Horny Coyote” post – I'd planned for it to be pretty epic, tying in the micro-aggressions with the macro-aggressions taking place on the…

Last week, after posting “Karma is a Horny Coyote” on my Facebook page – about the neighbour who was accusing me for months about letting my dog bark to wake him up on a regular basis, and becoming downright abusive when I was able to provide video evidence that it was not my dog that woke him up – another neighbour responded with “My interactions with this neighbour have only been positive and pleasant," and then left the conversation.

And oo-eee, Little Lyssy's nervous system had a wee panic session over that one, because it felt soooooo familiar.  While the neighbour-blaming-me-and-my-dog-for-coyote-calls situation is, of course, vastly different from what Little Lyssy was growing up with, the impact of “he's never been like that with me” comments on those who speak up about bullying or abusive behaviour is especially painful and triggering – and part of what keeps so many people silent about all types of abusive behaviour, which in turn allows it to continue.

And folks, our world is currently chock full o' abusive behaviour, and power-over folks going full DARVO on those calling it out (when they aren't murdering them).  Can we maybe take a few breaths and be a little bit more careful about how we respond to people calling out any sort of abuse, bullying or harassment?  Because… butterflies and windstorms…

The following is the response I made to this neighbour within my Facebook thread, but I was told it was universal enough it should become its own post.  So I'm going to hold up on the follow-up post I had planned (because long-term readers will know that laughter is usually followed by a truth-bomb), and share this first:
 

Friends, for months I have been walking on eggshells, a little stressbucket whenever letting the dogs out after dark. Because I kept getting nasty emails (couched in passive-aggressive smileys, so he didn't look like an asshole) from my neighbour across the way, ordering me to "do something" about Laila, who was "constantly" waking him up in the middle of the night, "at all hours" and she's "very loud".

Keep in mind that his bedroom is at the back of his house, and there's quite a bit of space and trees and a road and a hill (and, this time of year, sound-muffling snowbanks) in between my back yard and his back window. However, there are some strange acoustical properties to my neighbourhood, with quite a steep ridge that serves as a bit of an echo chamber, so I was mortified that "my" dog was upsetting a neighbour so often. But I was having trouble understanding how a dog barking in my back yard could be loud enough to wake a man across the street, when I wasn't hearing her bark at all.

ONE MORE SLEEP until Ride for Refuge!

I’m walking in support of the Cedar Centre, which helps children, youth, and adults recover from the impact that interpersonal childhood trauma has had on their lives.  See my previous post for my…

It's now FIVE days away from Ride for Refuge, in support of the Cedar Centre, which helps children, youth, and adults recover from the impact that interpersonal childhood trauma has had on their lives.  See my previous post for…

Every good fundraising request starts with a good story - here is mine!

Dear Friend,

This fall, I'm taking part in the Ride for Refuge. raising money for a charity that's close to my heart, the Cedar Centre…

This started as a BlueSky rant, then grew to a Facebook rant, and now – as I get more and more irate with the idiocy of certain... well... USian idiots (plus a few Canadians who seem to have drunk from the same KoolAid – yet another U.S. product that is really, really bad for the human race) – I'm migrating it over to RantCentral (with a few new additions), so people can read it without supporting the Zuckerface.

It is also going to be NSFW, so buckle up.  And if any USian fucking makes a quip about how Canadians are supposed to be polite (as one did on the aforementioned BlueSky rant), I will make a Canada Goose look like a pleasant dinner companion – today is not the day to dance around the Karpman Triangle with me, because I ain't dancing.

(USian friends of mine, I know this does not describe you, I know how hard you've been working in real life – your strength and integrity is exactly why we became friends in the first place.  This rant is for the non-friends I see posting.  You are loved.  And welcome to a guest room any time.  The degree of safety of said guest room depends on whether or not your country is invading ours that day, so please do your best with that, okay?)

Yes, that is an actual text I sent to my neighbourfriend earlier this evening.  And may I be the first – and hopefully, only – to wish the same to all of you!  I hope you're ringing in the new year in the way you most want, and that 2025 is much kinder to us all than its predecessor.

***ALL the trigger warnings on this one, people.  ALLLLLLLL the trigger warnings!!!!!***

(seriously, I'm pressing “send” in the fetal position, and I've had several days to edit and process – take extra care of your own nervous system here)

Ah, another trip around the sun (plus a few days – needed to take a while with this one), and here we are at the not-so-annual Birthday Breakdown, as started way back in 2011 (which seems so far away, on so many levels).  A recap of the year, what I learned, and what I hope to learn in the coming year.

So grab a snack and tasty beverage and make sure you've got a comfy seat (and maybe a support team in place), because this year's a doozie, friends.  Filled with grief – for those who've departed, for those I've clung to, for the last (I think?) of my magical thinking, for the sacrifices I made on behalf of that magical thinking, for the happily ever after fantasies that were part of that magical thinking – and Fucking Learning Opportunity™ after Fucking Learning Opportunity™.  (Though I believe I was fully paying attention this time – tune in next year...)

EDITED to put the safety info at the top.

If domestic violence or abuse touches your life in any way, please visit https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/stop-family-violence/services.html for a list of Canada-wide resources.

For Canadian emergency shelters and resources, please visit https://sheltersafe.ca 

Many other…

TW: CSA, child-shaming

Today (Sunday, July 7, 2024), the article finally came out in the Toronto Star that had been disrupting my sleep the last couple of weeks.

Headline:  “In the home of Alice Munro, a dark secret lurked.  Now, her children want the world to know”

Subheader:  “Alice Munro’s husband sexually assaulted her youngest daughter. For nearly five decades, a conspiracy of silence haunted the family, and at times, tore them apart.”

The full article is available at https://www.thestar.com/news/in-the-home-of-alice-munro-a-dark-secret-lurked-now-her-children-want-the/article_69a63202-34cd-11ef-83f4-9b4275c26d84.html

EDIT - I missed the first-person piece Andrea provided to the Star as well – it's at https://www.thestar.com/opinion/contributors/my-stepfather-sexually-abused-me-when-i-was-a-child-my-mother-alice-munro-chose/article_8415ba7c-3ae0-11ef-83f5-2369a808ea37.html 

For those who don't have a subscription, Andrea spoke about her story a while ago in her blog post at https://thegatehouse.org/andrea-to-heal-is-truth-peace/

I hope she and her siblings are finding this truth-telling to be as healing as they wished – it's still a long road ahead, but speaking the truth is a huge first step, and I wish them much love and solidarity.

Hey all,

I've given myself some leeway on my own birthday breakdown, because it's been quite a year to process – many losses, many lessons, and I don't like barfing my guts into the public until I've had a bit…

Hello everyone!

     It's been quite the few years, hasn't it?  That "Alyssabbatical" stretched on forever, and, honestly, the last year has been a bit of a struggle, between last year's “Slanderpalooza” (check the blog roll), nursing and then…

Hey everyone – Macie’s had a pretty decent day, although not enough energy for a walk.  She’s drinking water again, which makes me happy, and ate breakfast-and-a-bit, but a little less than dinner.  No groaning, and her bloating seems to…

Macie had a pretty good day today.  Had to go out once last night.  Ate full breakfast & dinner.  Didn't get a walk, but enjoyed some time in the back yard.  A bit uncomfortable with the bloating, but able to…

The Feminine
Is not
Dead
Nor is she
Sleeping

Angry, yes,
Seething, yes.

Biding her time;

Yes.
Yes.

- Alice Walker 

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY, EVERYONE!

Sorry for the lack of update on the Feminine Canine – been juggling much…

Dear Humans,

It is Day 105 of my incarceration.  My Parole Hearing was set for 5pm today.

I have news…

First of all, I waited until 8am to start singing the song of my people.  The Warden was pleased.  I…

Dear Humans,

It is Day 98 of my incarceration, and only 7 sleeps left before my Parole Hearing on Monday at 5pm.

Mother is beginning to catastrophize about the hearing, and is completely freaking the fuck out about what happens…

Dear Humans,

Here is, at last, my Saturday update.  It was Day 91 of my incarceration, with 14 sleeps to go before my Parole Hearing.

As we left yesterday's cliffhanger, The Warden had brought me out for a pee and…

Dear Humans,

I must apologize once again – I forgot to ask The Warden for my second laptop time yesterday, to give you my Friday update.  And after leaving you with such a cliffhanger!!!

As many of you have probably…

Dear Humans,

Here is your Thursday update. My apologies for the delay, but when your favouritest shows up, you do not waste time with internet prose!

Thursday did not begin well. I resumed my 6am whining, interspersed with barking. The…

Dear Humans,

I apologize for not sharing my tale of woe today, but one of my favourite humans (even favourite-r than you) came for a visit, and it was literally Christmas. I also might have done a kangaroo hop (or…